Whiplash

2021-12-27T08:23:10Z

A friend of mine recommended this movie to me called Whiplash. It is the story of a young drummer who wants to be the greatest and famous. He is at the top music school of the country and is pushed out by an abusive and violent teacher.

After he has been pushed out, a lawyer approaches him and his father. He is asked to testify against the teacher so the teacher can never do this to another student. Another of the students committed suicide because of the abuse.

Andrew's father says to him, "Do you think that I would let him put my son through hell and then just walk away scot free? Don't you know I would never let that happen... that there is nothing in the world more important to me than you? Don't you know that?"

When I heard this, I feel cheated that I never had this kind of love and protection from my father. Rather than making claims and telling me what to do, I never had someone who would stand up for me and show me how to stand up for myself.
I cannot imagine what it would have felt like to have this in my life. Who would I be if I had this growing up?

My father, when I asked him to speak to the cousin who sexually abused me, this father said that now was not the right time, that he would work it out later. What kind of a loser does and says that. This is the father I had.

I guess the movie scene offers me a clue as to what my inner child needs from me as I reparent myself. The challenge is now I don't even know how to identify who deserves what kind of a response, who hurt me enough to warrant this kind of standing up. The past hurts are to intermingled with the current hurts that I cannot tell. I end up being disproportionately angry or a pushover. And so it goes...

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popcorn09

Whiplash