stupid ethics, making life ... minimally more complicated (Ny stuff)
Apr. 14th, 2026 10:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
julianOn Sunday, we had Ny's Online Thing. (Wake. Memorial.)
It was very good; full of singing and poetry and science facts and art and memories and sadnesses. and made me sort of/almost cry at various time periods, but because I was the Official Zoom Host I felt like I couldn't, like, take breaks, which is of course Never True. Once it finished, I ended up with a dyspeptic-and-congestion-related headache that took a bit to clear out, but it did eventually.
There were a thousand small details that I didn't quite think of, which makes sense because generally I'm not the one hosting large Zooms, or, for that matter, organizing memorials. And also, the sad.
The general inchoate "we" of the Discord have been hashing out ethical stuff about posting and/or linking to the video of the memorial. Because, it was a semi-public event, but also private, and the simultaneous chat in particular had a lot of linking up wallet names and online handles that is perfectly fine in a semi-private space, but less so in the wider world. And yet, one of the things I appreciated about Ny was that she created a life where she could, to the extent possible, be as much herself as she could, out loud, and I don't want her life's celebration muffled.
But, we didn't quite make it clear that it might be posted later, or ask people if they were OK with it being posted (see above re: small details), and in the general sense, we're fans of opt-in rather than opt-out. So we've come to a (current) compromise. I am quite positive there will be further movement later. (For all I know, someone'll make it a Project to ask everyone who was there if they're OK with it being public, or if they'd like their identities ambiguated. I'm sure not doing it, though, because I have overdue client notes to write.) But anyway, for now, we're not sending out the chat, but will send out the video. So!
If you're interested, either
a) email vicka about it, and she can send you the video. (vicka's the one with the Ny Page, which was where I originally found out about the dying-of-COVID part. Her email is findable on the wider andor pages.)
or b) PM me/comment here/email me/send me a carrier pigeon, and I can send you a link to the video, which is on Mega, which is how I got it to vicka because I decided I wasn't up to figuring out SCP. I'm not including the chat there because of the aforementioned linkages.
Or c)gingicat is, soon, going to post the link to the announce-list, if you're on that.
It was very good; full of singing and poetry and science facts and art and memories and sadnesses. and made me sort of/almost cry at various time periods, but because I was the Official Zoom Host I felt like I couldn't, like, take breaks, which is of course Never True. Once it finished, I ended up with a dyspeptic-and-congestion-related headache that took a bit to clear out, but it did eventually.
There were a thousand small details that I didn't quite think of, which makes sense because generally I'm not the one hosting large Zooms, or, for that matter, organizing memorials. And also, the sad.
The general inchoate "we" of the Discord have been hashing out ethical stuff about posting and/or linking to the video of the memorial. Because, it was a semi-public event, but also private, and the simultaneous chat in particular had a lot of linking up wallet names and online handles that is perfectly fine in a semi-private space, but less so in the wider world. And yet, one of the things I appreciated about Ny was that she created a life where she could, to the extent possible, be as much herself as she could, out loud, and I don't want her life's celebration muffled.
But, we didn't quite make it clear that it might be posted later, or ask people if they were OK with it being posted (see above re: small details), and in the general sense, we're fans of opt-in rather than opt-out. So we've come to a (current) compromise. I am quite positive there will be further movement later. (For all I know, someone'll make it a Project to ask everyone who was there if they're OK with it being public, or if they'd like their identities ambiguated. I'm sure not doing it, though, because I have overdue client notes to write.) But anyway, for now, we're not sending out the chat, but will send out the video. So!
If you're interested, either
a) email vicka about it, and she can send you the video. (vicka's the one with the Ny Page, which was where I originally found out about the dying-of-COVID part. Her email is findable on the wider andor pages.)
or b) PM me/comment here/email me/send me a carrier pigeon, and I can send you a link to the video, which is on Mega, which is how I got it to vicka because I decided I wasn't up to figuring out SCP. I'm not including the chat there because of the aforementioned linkages.
Or c)
gingicat is, soon, going to post the link to the announce-list, if you're on that.this one again?
Apr. 11th, 2026 11:45 amdaryl_wor Fine by me! Maybe write more about it today
Yeh, there was literal bad air when I recorded this one, but is good on the pace of social media addiction and how it was infiltrating our lives, no doubt.
Yeh, there was literal bad air when I recorded this one, but is good on the pace of social media addiction and how it was infiltrating our lives, no doubt.
almost there
Apr. 10th, 2026 06:43 amdaryl_wor Ok! ONE more episode of Space Nazis and then geekery will take this show, Enterprise... can't wait
chosen yesterday
Apr. 7th, 2026 06:29 amdaryl_wor
So this one is an interesting pick. going back to pen pals was a major blessing and how the reluctant vampire is a reflection of ourselves, however unaware.....
yesterday's extra pick
Apr. 5th, 2026 07:03 amdaryl_worOkay, this one has how the attention grabbing is not done with evil 'staches or hands rubbing, that kind of info. Glad to be out of it and what anti-fans are, letting them know it wasn't really they're choice and abit after that I noticed that concentration of downloads in a location dropped off severely later on. It is not that the people are "bad" or "evil". more a ringmaster's whip is occurring...
Of course the first highlight is how Milligan is cringing out how BJ had a liason with Angelique and has everyone gotten to her ahead of Milligan? Yes, yes, Simon, you are behind MANY suitors, yes.
Of course the first highlight is how Milligan is cringing out how BJ had a liason with Angelique and has everyone gotten to her ahead of Milligan? Yes, yes, Simon, you are behind MANY suitors, yes.
And I enjoy my lapse into the absurdity of critiquing why vampires can't have sex biologically and I just reference The Munsters to say it is ALL absurd, hello. I guess the trigger is Say Something Relevant.
church explorations
Apr. 2nd, 2026 10:17 pmjulianI'm a Unitarian Universalist, not quite birthright but almost. (We started going when I was about 4.) My parents are both lapsed Episcopalians, and wanted somewhere to give me a community and a religious upbringing, so they went with the Dedham Unitarians.
At that point, in the mid-1970s, the UU Church as a whole had much more of the Christian vestiges than it has now, but they were also very much connected (I feel) to the Spirit of the 60s, as well. The denomination has since become Less Officially Christian, which is (for me) a Good Thing, though some individual churches are more steeped in it. (I just don't attend those, because I don't mix well with Christianity on an ongoing basis.)
While I'm pagan and find my spirituality in nature and in intent, I first found it in community and liberal religious faith, and have the UU church in my blood and psyche. I have spent some years of my life not involved in a church, and some years involved, and it always makes me feel better about life to *be* involved in community with others, so I've been casting about, past month or two, to see which UU church will work for me, locally. (My town doesn't have one.) I'm currently going with, basically, checking out some of the ones within about 15 miles/25 minutes' drive. (I may look at a few others slightly further out, like Fitchburg or Bolton or Harvard, but only if I can't feel OK with any of the three I'm considering now.)
There's one in Groton (MA), which would have the advantage of being on the way to/from work, so I could maybe sometimes drop in on evening activities on the way home. Unlike a lot of places I've been at, they do do a *lot* of non-Sunday stuff, which is cool if mostly unworkable with my current work schedule. On a less good note, their minister's been there for *20 years*, which is a long damn time. This worries me, tbh; I might like her a lot and then she'd retire soon, or it might be that the place has calcified around her, or, you know, many other possibilities. The one time I went on Sunday, it was a perfectly nice and very welcoming place, but I miscalculated/didn't read the webpage right, and the minister was off that week. Also it's a freakin' classic Old New England Church Building (which is what I grew up with and am bored by) and feels pretty suburban as a community. I'm leaning toward no, but I do want to meet the minister first.
I enjoyed the Nashua (NH) church when I went, but it's more urban than I like, and also, they do Joys and Concerns in a stupid way, so I will use this as a reason to Not Go There More.
Um, let me restart that. In some Christian churches, they have weekly prayers for people, and the Episcopalians (with whom I have nodding acquaintance) often read them aloud during service. (I know other denominations do too, just, I don't know as much about, for example, Methodists.) The UU Church instead has incorporated a thing (at many parishes) where, at Sunday services, they have people who want to talk about a good thing or a stressful thing in their lives come up and light a candle, and (briefly) talk about it. (And the rest of the folks there that day can send them hope, love, congratulatory or concerned expressions, supportive energy, or a kind thought.) I think this is neat and, among other things, can decentralize the minister as the sole focus of the service, and can also let people get to know each other more.
Anyway, so Nashua does it by having people write down their joy or concern, and the lay worship leader then reads them out, instead. Nope! Dun' like it. Impersonal and hierarchical. So, no.
I went to the Milford (NH) church last week, and they're the leaders in the clubhouse at the moment, despite being in entirely the wrong direction for the rest of my life. Milford's a larger town than Groton, and feels more funky-urbanish even though it's only 16,000 people or so, and there's a domestic violence support organization right next door to the church, which is neat (for my particular interests, anyway). Unfortunately, the pagan store I finally was able to go to, after a few attempts to find it open over the past couple months, was literally closing for the last time that day. (I mean, at least everything was 50% off? Also, they're going to be keeping going via an online presence.) But it's still a reasonably off-kilter town even so.
Unlike my other two exploratory visits at Nashua and Groton, the minister was actually there, which was a pleasant change. This was the 1st anniversary of her starting ministry in Milford, and the church had had some major (unspoken in the service) divisions, and she came out of retirement to take over and, basically, help heal them. (After having a major accident of her own that she's still recovering from, so, healing and recovery not just one way.) All the readings/meditations were based around the theme of growth and coming together, and she basically opened the sermon up by talking about how she came to be minister to the church, and then invited parishioners to talk -- about a moment of beauty in their lives, or a moment of reconnection, or a moment that encapsulated the church, for them. And some people talked about their private lives, and some people talked about church stuff, and it all worked rather well.
And then afterwards they had a rainbow potluck. (With some of the foods being rainbow-y, and some being one specific color of the rainbow.) Which, entertaining. Plus I met some neurodiverse pagan SF geeks, so that was *also* nice.
Anyway. Not decided yet, but... leaning.
At that point, in the mid-1970s, the UU Church as a whole had much more of the Christian vestiges than it has now, but they were also very much connected (I feel) to the Spirit of the 60s, as well. The denomination has since become Less Officially Christian, which is (for me) a Good Thing, though some individual churches are more steeped in it. (I just don't attend those, because I don't mix well with Christianity on an ongoing basis.)
While I'm pagan and find my spirituality in nature and in intent, I first found it in community and liberal religious faith, and have the UU church in my blood and psyche. I have spent some years of my life not involved in a church, and some years involved, and it always makes me feel better about life to *be* involved in community with others, so I've been casting about, past month or two, to see which UU church will work for me, locally. (My town doesn't have one.) I'm currently going with, basically, checking out some of the ones within about 15 miles/25 minutes' drive. (I may look at a few others slightly further out, like Fitchburg or Bolton or Harvard, but only if I can't feel OK with any of the three I'm considering now.)
There's one in Groton (MA), which would have the advantage of being on the way to/from work, so I could maybe sometimes drop in on evening activities on the way home. Unlike a lot of places I've been at, they do do a *lot* of non-Sunday stuff, which is cool if mostly unworkable with my current work schedule. On a less good note, their minister's been there for *20 years*, which is a long damn time. This worries me, tbh; I might like her a lot and then she'd retire soon, or it might be that the place has calcified around her, or, you know, many other possibilities. The one time I went on Sunday, it was a perfectly nice and very welcoming place, but I miscalculated/didn't read the webpage right, and the minister was off that week. Also it's a freakin' classic Old New England Church Building (which is what I grew up with and am bored by) and feels pretty suburban as a community. I'm leaning toward no, but I do want to meet the minister first.
I enjoyed the Nashua (NH) church when I went, but it's more urban than I like, and also, they do Joys and Concerns in a stupid way, so I will use this as a reason to Not Go There More.
Um, let me restart that. In some Christian churches, they have weekly prayers for people, and the Episcopalians (with whom I have nodding acquaintance) often read them aloud during service. (I know other denominations do too, just, I don't know as much about, for example, Methodists.) The UU Church instead has incorporated a thing (at many parishes) where, at Sunday services, they have people who want to talk about a good thing or a stressful thing in their lives come up and light a candle, and (briefly) talk about it. (And the rest of the folks there that day can send them hope, love, congratulatory or concerned expressions, supportive energy, or a kind thought.) I think this is neat and, among other things, can decentralize the minister as the sole focus of the service, and can also let people get to know each other more.
Anyway, so Nashua does it by having people write down their joy or concern, and the lay worship leader then reads them out, instead. Nope! Dun' like it. Impersonal and hierarchical. So, no.
I went to the Milford (NH) church last week, and they're the leaders in the clubhouse at the moment, despite being in entirely the wrong direction for the rest of my life. Milford's a larger town than Groton, and feels more funky-urbanish even though it's only 16,000 people or so, and there's a domestic violence support organization right next door to the church, which is neat (for my particular interests, anyway). Unfortunately, the pagan store I finally was able to go to, after a few attempts to find it open over the past couple months, was literally closing for the last time that day. (I mean, at least everything was 50% off? Also, they're going to be keeping going via an online presence.) But it's still a reasonably off-kilter town even so.
Unlike my other two exploratory visits at Nashua and Groton, the minister was actually there, which was a pleasant change. This was the 1st anniversary of her starting ministry in Milford, and the church had had some major (unspoken in the service) divisions, and she came out of retirement to take over and, basically, help heal them. (After having a major accident of her own that she's still recovering from, so, healing and recovery not just one way.) All the readings/meditations were based around the theme of growth and coming together, and she basically opened the sermon up by talking about how she came to be minister to the church, and then invited parishioners to talk -- about a moment of beauty in their lives, or a moment of reconnection, or a moment that encapsulated the church, for them. And some people talked about their private lives, and some people talked about church stuff, and it all worked rather well.
And then afterwards they had a rainbow potluck. (With some of the foods being rainbow-y, and some being one specific color of the rainbow.) Which, entertaining. Plus I met some neurodiverse pagan SF geeks, so that was *also* nice.
Anyway. Not decided yet, but... leaning.