Love and Awakening

[popcorn09]

 Earlier this month, I started reading "Love and Awakening" by John Welwood. While I am still only at the beginning of Chapter 2, the book so far does seem to have beautiful and succinct words to describe the connection between relationships, spirituality and our true selves. Chapter 2 begins by describing how trauma disrupts this process of knowing and relating to oneself, and, therefore to another.

My current reading was to end on page 13 and while I underlined so many things, this one stands out to me today. It is quoted from a book by Herman Hesse, 

"The old joys had dried up and withered, and his soul had begun the long, hard detour".

My soul can relate to this so much right now. I took the day off from work today because I found myself empty, unable to show up, care about work, have a dialogue and engage. So grateful to my coaches from my professional coaching platform that held the space for me and provided care for me to replenish some of myself. 

And now I am here writing this journal entry, all the while fighting with my inner critic who tells me how this is such a pointless journal entry, that i don't even know what I am writing about, how the title doesn't match the content, blah blah blah. 

Today I am grateful that I could get the ducks lined up in a row to write, even if it is incoherent and off-topic. This is, after all, my journal and I can write whatever I want. It is not as though I have someone paying me to meet their expectations, far from it. 

Back to the book, I am doing a "book club" on it with my close friend Keton. (not their real name). I feel delighted to be able to read and discuss this with someone like him, that is seeking to learn and expand his mind as well. Such a privilege to have this in my life. Hope we can both make progress in finding a route to connect to our true nature, open our heart and bring last love into our lives.

With that, I am off to bed with droopy eyes. Parting reluctantly because this is truly delightful, to be here.

<3 <3 <3 xoxoxoxo

PS - here's the song of the day
 

Comments

[daryl_wor]

Sounds good to me. It's always difficult to get-going again once we halt processing our thoughts in the written word for a long while. But the effort is worth it, just restarting. I'm so glad you found Dreamwidth, too. I'm glad a lot of people are finding it.

Plus when we drift through other journals we can see most people have the same feeling of irrelevance at times or even a lot of it. And private entries are totally cool, too. Sometimes I'll keep one private until I'm satisfied I haven't made any spelling or grammatical errors, or simply 'because'.